White Person!!

Got your attention, didn't I?

I can't remember how long it's been that I have said "White Person!" when waiting to cross a road.
I stand there, looking around, big orange numbers counting down, a big orange hand motioning STOP and then... it happens!
"White person!!"
It's time to walk across the street.
I did this once with Jerry by my side and he said "What are you saying that for?"
I kinda laughed and said, while pointing at the 'white person walking' symbol, that we could now walk across the street.
In his joking way... he said "That's racist."


The other day while leaving the Downtown Farmers market and waiting for the light to change....
"White person!" and we walked across the street.
Jerry and I got in to a conversation, jokingly of course, about how racist this sign is.
I mean the hand telling us to stop is orange, but the person telling us to walk is white.
Wouldn't it actually make more sense for the hand to be RED and the person to be GREEN?
(You know...red stop... green go....)

It's just amazing how discrimination really is every where.
Even on pedestrian cross walk signs.
*sigh*

I found this picture and feel sorry for anyone that is not in love... you can't cross this street.


Only if you frolic can you cross this street....


If you like the movie Big... you can cross this street...



Yes.. this guy is GREEN... but I think he's chugging a beer.
So only if you are drunk can you cross this street.


Are you old?
Do you need a cane or another old person to lean on?
You may cross now.


My point is... I have no point.

 

****I also went to look this up on Google on who/what/when/where the signal light was invented and CRAZY enough... it was 101 years ago TODAY that the first traffic signal was used!

It was first used in Cleveland, OH.

The first pedestrian light was erected in 1868... but dates back more then 2000 years.****

Walk This Way

So in my effort to lose weight, I decided to go on a walk.
I was going to go to the Y, but decided to just walk outside around the neighborhood.
So I started out, music in my ears, and about 5 minutes in, I was hot and wanted to turn around.
But thought to myself;
"Self.... keep going. You love nature and being outside. Don't look at it as a work out, look at it as walking and seeing and being in nature."
So I kept up my pace, but took the time to look around.

A pretty fountain.

Ducks swimming.

The American Flag.




















Here fishy fishy...

And before I knew it, I had walked for over 40 minutes.
I was hot, sweaty, my heart rate was raised.
I got a nice work out in, with out thinking about the work out.
I can't wait to do it again tomorrow.

The Belt

So.
I've talked about how I've let myself go.
Well I'm tired of being tired.
I'm tired of having excuse after excuse.
I'm tired of acting like this was done to me.
I have done this to myself.

Here is a picture of my belt.

I have had this for MANY years, you can tell by how it's falling apart....
I've worn it on the smallest hole and a couple times on the biggest.
You can tell where it was worn the most.
I was comfortable there.
I fit in my clothes there.
I like it there.

I don't care about what the scale says.
I'm not going to get on it.
I'm going to figure my weight loss, my getting in shape, with my belt.
Every notch back to my most worn placement on the belt.
AND at that time...besides looking better and feeling better.
I'll buy myself a new belt.

The Seven Deadly Sins - #4 Envy

¹envy              

noun en·vy \ˈen-vē\

: the feeling of wanting to have what someone else has

: someone or something that causes envy

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Envy... now that's a good deadly sin.

How many of us have looked at someone and thought - wow... they have everything I want.

That is envy.

 

How many time have us woman been in line at a grocery store, looked at the cover of a magazine and regardless of who is on it thought, wow, I wish I could be them.

They are tall, skinny, pretty, rich.

Granted, their lives are probably just as messed up as the rest of us.

 

I've looked at friends and envied them.

How they have no fear.

How they take charge and don't worry what people think of them.

 

I envy my sisters for having children and remaining skinny.

I envy my husband for knowing who he is and never straying from his beliefs.

For having the courage to try something new and to go after what he wants.

 

I envy people that quit their corporate jobs to chase their dreams, whatever they may be.

I envy people that don't stress and worry and just DO.

I envy people that have never dealt with depression and have no idea how it feels.

I envy people that have never lost a love one unexpectedly.

I envy people that don't even try to have kids and pop them out like it's their job.

 

As much as I may feel envy, I wouldn't change my life.

I know behind all those things I envy, are problems and life stories, just like me.

As much as some people look like they have it all together... they don't.

Everyone envy's people from time to time... and then you may learn the truth.

I had some married friends, who I thought were the best couples, I wanted that.

I envied them.

Those married friends aren't together anymore.

It woke me up.

Don't envy what you don't understand.

There is ALWAYS more to a person, a story, a situation, a behavior then what you see.

 

I'm going to work on not being so envious.

I think we all should.

 

I Will Never

There are certain situations that arise that I think " I will never be that. I will never do that."
And the people around me speak loud enough and that is what they are saying also.
"You will never be that. You will never do that."

For a long time, people thought it was so uncharacteristic of me to go four-wheeling and being 'dirty'.
I love four-wheeling.
I love dusty gravel roads.
I love dirty hair and clothes that lead to small town bars and small town lives.

I will never be a size 2 again.
I would have to starve myself...
Just 4 and a half years ago I did fit into my size 6 high school jeans.
It was amazing.
It was obtainable.
It seems so far away.
In 11th grade I weighed 117 pounds at 5'10".
I was kinda sickly looking.
My ribs showed through.
I didn't eat much.
I thought my stomach was big.
I was so skinny.
It was not ok.
Not attractive.
Yet... I felt beautiful.
Because of the number on the scale.
I felt worthy.
Why is it that the size that we wear is what brings us happiness?
I hate that I've let myself go.
But just like the posts on The Seven Deadly Sins, I.Am.Just.Lazy.
I want to be everything my husband wants.
Everything he deserves, and he deserves more than a lazy house wife that piles on the pounds.
I will never be 117 pounds again.
I will not fit comfortably in my high school jeans.
But I can take care of myself.
I can work out for exercise, not necessarily to be the most tiny girl.
I can try to be healthy.
My husband loves me.
Tells me I'm beautiful.
I just no longer feel it about myself.
So I need to change that.
I need to get out of my head.
I need to realize that I may not be what I was...
But I can be so much better.
Be Happy.
Be Healthy.
Be Me.

The Seven Deadly Sins #3 - Greed

greed            

noun \ˈgrēd\

:  a selfish and excessive desire for more of something (as money) than is needed



Greed.
Greedy.
I don't think this word has ever been used to describe me.
I don't believe I am a greedy person at all.
I don't have a desire to 'keep up with the Jones'.

I don't really hang around greedy people either.
Everyone I know is giving, for the most part.

I would think where my greed lies is with 'time'.
I want my time with my husband, just him and I.
If we go a long time with out hanging out together, just the two of us, we miss each other.

I am greedy with family time.
It's actually something Jerry and I talked about in pre-marriage counseling.
I had to talk about how I don't want to miss anything my parents and sisters are doing.
Packer Sundays, dinners, random gathering, holidays... it's VERY hard for me to give up any time with my family, so that could be looked at as greedy.

I was probably greedy when I was younger... but I don't recall.....
Do you think you are greedy over certain things?

Dear Brendan

What up dork?
It's been awhile, huh?
Lots has happened here while you've been gone.
I got married... did you know that?
It might have taken some getting used to, cause you never liked anyone I dated, but you would like him.
He has a 7... almost 8 year old daughter.
Can you imagine that... me a step-mom?
It's crazy.
Sometimes I have a hard time with it.
Sometimes I'm more immature than her.... but I try.
I think she likes me.

It's been a long time since you've been in my life.
It was really hard when you first left.
I cried a lot.
Sometimes when I was alone I would cry for long periods of time.
Spider pig aka Rocky was worried about me.

I catch myself thinking about you.... mostly when I am driving somewhere.
So many things we did together as friends.
So many things we experienced as roommates.
So many things I wish you were still around to see.

The thing about time....
The thing about life....
Is that things change.

I will always think of you.
I will always be sad that I never see you anymore.
But I will always be ok because of my friends.
My family.
My husband.

Brendan.
You were so YOU.
And I loved that.
And I miss you.

I hope you are looking down on Jerry and me and you are happy for us.
I heart him.

I miss you and always will.
Happy birthday, my far away friend.
Happy birthday.

Love,
Holly Marie Brantley