So I have....

So I have a husband that is pretty amazing.
And what I see/read on facebook is everyone's husband is pretty amazing.
I'm glad that is what most of my friends have.
There are also friends that I see that NEVER mention their husbands.
For whatever reason, that is what the choose to not post.

I, however, will brag about my husband until I'm unfriended by everyone.
Why?
Because he is amazing.
In November my husband let me quit my corporate job.
I got a part time job at my beautiful friends salon.
I made a lot less money.
I worked a lot less hours.
I got in a funk....
My husband however continued to climb up in his company and received a promotion that he longed for.
He worked for.
He deserves.

My husband....
He makes mistakes at times or gets overly passionate about things...
But in my eyes, he is perfect.....

He spent the last month and a half, 6 days a week, away from me.
Away from Mary.
To be in a play.
Not just any play.
A play about black men in the military.
About what they have had to make happen for themselves.
How hard they had to work to even be included in FIGHTING for the country that they wanted to fight for....
It's a beautiful, yet sad, and at the same time, so completely relevant in todays society, piece of work.

My husband....
He is brave.
Strong.
Loving.
Caring.
Devoted and loyal.

He plays a character in this play that even his mom said "that is not the man I raised"....
He plays his character to a T.
You love him.
But you hate him.

I have had friends and family show their support of Jerry in this play.
My Monthly Brunchly is going tomorrow.
My dear friend that I used to work with is going on Wednesday.
My family's going this weekend.
A group of us are going to the final show.

We are surrounded by loving, caring, supportive family and friends.
There are not enough words for me to explain how proud I am to have such an amazing man as my husband.

If you have not made it yet, or purchased your tickets yet, you should.
http://www.asoldiersplay.com/

The Belt = 0; The Curb = 1; The Hospital = 2 nights

Ohhhh what a long strange trip it's been....

Last week... my first week of  The Belt 'challenge', I did fairly well. I was more mindful of what I ate and I went walking around the neighborhood. Nothing crazy, but more than I had been doing, but still, I should have done more.
On Saturday I went to Ankeny Unplugged, an all day concert in Ankeny (duh), with my friend Niki.
It was a nice setting, not busy at all..., ok music for the most part, but what was really good was the conversation.
We got there about 12:30ish... we left about 5:30ish.
When we left we walked to Firetrucker, a near by brewery where we had a free drink ticket.
At one point I attempted to turn in my flip flops, on a curb..... ankle bent one way, leg stayed straight.
O.M.G. I have never sprained anything in my life, but mother f***** it hurt like a b****.
I am a trooper though...I mean Niki and I made it to the brewery for our free drink (11% beer that tastes like a Moscow mule, served in a Moscow Mule cup).
I was in a bit of pain, but not horrible... the night went on and all was well.
(The Belt = 0, The Curb = 1)

Mary's 8th birthday party was on Sunday evening at a near by park.
My ankle hurt, but I was set and ready for Mary's birthday party.
Thing was she didn't feel the greatest, had a slight fever and didn't want any food.
She wanted to lay around.
Anyone that knows Mary knows that her laying around is not something that happens.
We moved her party to her mom's house so she would be out of the heat and near a place she could rest if she needed to and she was fine for some of it.
Then... not so fine.
She threw up.
The party ended after most people ate pizza and cake and she did have enough energy to open some presents.
I went home to ice my ankle, Jerry went to play practice and Mary was with her mom and step-dad, still not feeling well.
About an hour later Amanda (Mary's mom) called and said she was throwing up and was running a temp of 103. "We are taking her to the ER, do you want to come?"
"Yes!"
They came and got me and we went to the ER....
Time went by, tests were run, IV's, meds.... etc.
Jerry came up after play practice (keep in mind he is the greatest dad ever and I told him to stay at the play as she was doing fine and we were totally going to be going home soon).
THEN....she was admitted to the hospital.
She was so sick.
Mary has a VERY HIGH pain tolerance.
This girl is bruised.
Jumps off things constantly.
Falls off things constantly.
Get's up and does it all again.
It takes A LOT to cause her REAL pain.

 

She was not her.

Mary is spunky and always on the go.

She's witty and wonderful and challenging (for me).

She's my daughter... my baby.

And there were a couple of times, sitting next to her when she was calling out in pain, that her mom and I were close to tears, if not crying, because we couldn't do anything to help.

She is the only child I have and she is my baby, even if she didn't come from me....

 

On a side note:

Jerry, and I were there.

Mary's mom Amanda and stepdad Marcus were there.

Most of the time the 4 of us were in the room.

Certain times nurses and doctors asked about the family dynamic since us 4 were there and we get along.

They were surprised, all of them, that we were ex's and steps.

That we got along so well.

At first we thought it was kind of comical.

Thought we'd say one was the mom, one was the grandma.

Thought we'd say one of the guys was Mormon and had sister wives.

And then we realized....

We.Were.Abnormal.

No one understood we were ex's and steps... because we all get along so well.

It's sad that WE are abnormal.

That the fact that we put the child's happiness before hurt feelings or bad breakups.

I have gone out with my husbands ex wife for a beer.

We talk about our daughter.

His ex has always been good to me.

Welcomed me.

We have always put Mary's happiness ahead of petty differences and we always will.

We may not look at things the same, may not have the same household or be anything a like, but we have an (almost) 8 year old that we want to have a happy, healthy childhood.

You find that common ground and the petty shit that divorced couples fight over is just so selfish.

 

 

Mary was at the hospital Sunday night till Tuesday afternoon.

No clear answer what was wrong.

Drugs, antibiotics, she eventually started to feel better.

She even helped the nurse take her IV thingy out... (yes that is the technical term).

 

 

And finally, we were able to go home.

Mary was so happy and so were we.

There is a lot of stress that comes with a child in the hospital.

I can not even imagine how REALLY sick kids and families handle it.

She was poked, had an IV, blood drawn... plus bandaids from all her 'normal' injuries...

 

But she is tough.

She is amazing.

She is sooooo loved.

So really The Hospital didn't win this round.

Mary did.

Mary = Amazing

I Understand Now

When Jerry and I first got together, I still went out with all of my friends whenever asked.
I have lots of groups of friends, so I'd go on multiple dinners or drink gatherings a month.
As time has gone by, I have done this less and less.
My Monthly Brunchly group is probably the only group I actually see on a monthly basis.
I think that is because we get together on Sunday late morning, and Jerry and Mary go to church then, so it's easy to 'get away'.

I used to get annoyed with friends that couldn't make the time for drinks, gatherings or dinners.
Kids or husbands got in the way.
I used to think... big freaking deal, have someone else watch your kid.
Have your husband 'babysit' his own kids.

I understand now.

Jerry and I have Mary 50% of the time.
On nights we have her, I rather not make plans that don't involve her, since I only get to see her half the time.
On other nights, when it's just Jerry and me, I want to have that one on one time with him.
So scheduling can be tricky with friends.
Mary plays sports, I work odd hours, Jerry has work and travel for work, so finding the time to be together is actually harder than one would think.

I used to get so annoyed when people would say things that they can't meet up because they haven't seen their boyfriend all week, they haven't been home much and want to hang out with their husband or kids.
Whatever.
Losers.

I understand now.

I miss my husband when he is gone, when we don't get our time together.
I miss my step-daughter when I don't get to see her.

I miss my friends, that I haven't seen in months.
But the thing with friends is... I know they are there.
If we can get something scheduled and have everyone show up, it's a miracle.
We try.
I try.
Life happens.
Family happens.
As much as I want to catch up with my friends, make sure everyone is still doing well - or hear their problems if they are not - sometimes it's just hard.

So to my friends that I don't see often enough.
I hope you understand.

I finally do.

Jerry coaching Mary in softball