Tuesday, June 23, 2015

I Understand Now

When Jerry and I first got together, I still went out with all of my friends whenever asked.
I have lots of groups of friends, so I'd go on multiple dinners or drink gatherings a month.
As time has gone by, I have done this less and less.
My Monthly Brunchly group is probably the only group I actually see on a monthly basis.
I think that is because we get together on Sunday late morning, and Jerry and Mary go to church then, so it's easy to 'get away'.

I used to get annoyed with friends that couldn't make the time for drinks, gatherings or dinners.
Kids or husbands got in the way.
I used to think... big freaking deal, have someone else watch your kid.
Have your husband 'babysit' his own kids.

I understand now.

Jerry and I have Mary 50% of the time.
On nights we have her, I rather not make plans that don't involve her, since I only get to see her half the time.
On other nights, when it's just Jerry and me, I want to have that one on one time with him.
So scheduling can be tricky with friends.
Mary plays sports, I work odd hours, Jerry has work and travel for work, so finding the time to be together is actually harder than one would think.

I used to get so annoyed when people would say things that they can't meet up because they haven't seen their boyfriend all week, they haven't been home much and want to hang out with their husband or kids.

I understand now.

I miss my husband when he is gone, when we don't get our time together.
I miss my step-daughter when I don't get to see her.

I miss my friends, that I haven't seen in months.
But the thing with friends is... I know they are there.
If we can get something scheduled and have everyone show up, it's a miracle.
We try.
I try.
Life happens.
Family happens.
As much as I want to catch up with my friends, make sure everyone is still doing well - or hear their problems if they are not - sometimes it's just hard.

So to my friends that I don't see often enough.
I hope you understand.

I finally do.

Jerry coaching Mary in softball